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CUSTODY IN NEWS

"I do not want to be the babysitter of my children"

come from different places and have lived different histories, but they are all separate and call for establishing joint custody of children as a preferred model. Fran Pintado, Ion (not to give his last name) and Guadalupe Úcar share their experiences.

Arrazola

Elene - Sunday, February 20, 2011 - Updated at 5:34 pm

I refuse to be the babysitter of my children. I do not want to spend only four hours a week with them. I accompanied the doctor, help with homework and participate in important decisions of your life. But the divorce law prevents me. "Can speak louder, but clearer. It has been four years since Francisco Javier Pintado was separated from his wife and since then, just go to their children, ages 14 and 9 years one evening per week and alternate weekends. And everything he says, because the Divorce Act only provides for the custody of the children when there is mutual agreement between the two sides of the couple. If one of the former spouses objects the judge granted direct custody and right to the family home to the wife until the children become independent economically.

This is what happened to Francisco Javier Pintado, better known as Fran. After months of dragging a severe back injury, their relationship "is much more difficult" and separated. However, when deciding on the future of the children, did not reach an agreement with his ex , and overnight, was "outside the home, not knowing where to go and with a closed time to see their children. "

Now that four years have passed since then, looks back and is surprised to see "how well" that has brought the situation, "because if a separation is always difficult, imagine what it is to stay en la calle y sin familia".

Afortunadamente, Pintado contó con el apoyo de todo su entorno y consiguió salir adelante. Admite que han sido los peores años de su vida, ya que de un día para otro se quedó en la calle y sin trabajo. "Lo que ganaba al mes no me daba para pagar la pensión alimenticia ni lo que me correspondía de la hipoteca", recuerda. La situación resultó ser "tan insostenible" que el errenteriarra y su exmujer decidieron vender el piso familiar, repartir los bienes a partes iguales y plantearse la opción de la custodia compartida.

Así, esa situación que Fran "no se la recomendaría or the worst enemy ", ended up giving a twist of 180 degrees and the errenteriarra achieved his aim:" To be able to be the real father to my children need. "

Currently, Painted and his ex-wife are involved in clearing goods and processing of joint custody and, if all goes as planned, this month will return to live with their two children. "The best thing that could happen to me," he says.

judicial Battle Ion

"Joint custody or yes"

Ion in the history of the pattern is repeated, but people change. He apologizes for not providing more data about you, but prefers to remain anonymous until the end of the court battle that began a year ago to get joint custody of their four children. And, this provides no other option Donostia: "Joint custody or yes." Despite support this formula, Ion does not believe that joint custody should be mandatory in all separations. But in his, yes. "I was the one who was in charge of waking the kids, give them breakfast, bring to the ikastola and everything else, and suddenly, overnight, lost to Aita, "argues to make clear that he decided to leave his ex ," not children ".

Painted Like Fran, Ion did not reach an agreement with his former partner when they separated and lost opportunity to benefit from joint custody. Critica in the twelve-month legal battle has been allowed only to see the children on Friday evenings and alternate weekends.

Far from resigning, the San Sebastian has become to seek joint custody of children and therefore had to prove by medical certificates, school and several other witnesses, who until a year ago was in charge of education and care of four children. It has also been through psychosocial reports to demonstrate that it is capable to handle children.

Joint custody is the first formula that has raised Ion the judge, but "just in case", presented a second option, which would lead to children three days a week to spend with them ikastola and other two evenings, plus alternate weekends. "I'm optimistic and hope to get joint custody, but be prepared for the worst," he says.

úcar Guadalupe

"was the best for girls"

Guadalupe Úcar remembers being "crossed out all" when her ex-husband and she agreed that the best option for her two children was joint custody. "My ex is a great father and the girls love him, then how could I deprive my daughters to be with him, just his Y chromosome?" Asks the neighbor Estella.

The couple collated their work schedules and agreed the best option to divide the time for girls. Since then, the lowest of 12 and 8 years, living in the house of the mother during the day and dine and sleep with the father. The weekends are alternated between the two houses.

This advertising adviser defends to the hilt joint custody because she is convinced that it is "advantageous" for the three parts: "Children do not lose their father, he continues as such and the mother has the possibility of continue to develop personally and professionally. " If today is difficult to have a child for a couple, compared to, "imagine what it means for a single mother." For those women who cling to their children, Úcar warned that sole custody is a "hottie poisoned ":" Many women reduce their working hours to care for children and when they become independent and it's time to liquidate the family home and pay their share to parent, with 52 or 55 years, notes that has not contributed much as I want and that, unlike the father, has struggled to rebuild their lives. "

Úcar recognizes that reach their status" has not been easy because for years you have to compromise and negotiate hard with someone you have separated. "But no doubt that joint custody was the best option for their children.